Tormenting our kids..

…is a duty and a privilege. The latest elaborate prank on Joseph involved the ongoing meme of Joseph’s hatred for Buzz Lightyear, who in younger and kinder years was a treasured friend to the boy. James has collected his related paraphernalia, in particular anything depicting Evil Emperor Zurg. At one point James made Joseph a Star Wars CD and, awful man that he is, made the first track Zurg’s Planet. Joseph was, erm, indignant to say the least.

So anyway, James has got a couple Zurg figurines on his desk; half to piss Joseph off, half in defiance of his growing up (whose, you ask? Good question..). James started his prank by putting this through the mail slot:

(Yes, it’s taken me a while to post this). Joseph, having failed to notice in his excitement that it’s written on my note paper and that it’s quite obviously James’ handwriting, asked if he could call the number. He called the ‘courier’ and had a very sweet and polite conversation about his parcel. I would have gotten all sniffly at the cuteness if I wasn’t trying so hard not to laugh. Joseph got off the phone and said the parcel would be coming tomorrow. Then James ran around the side of the house and phoned Joseph back.

He told Joseph that a courier was in the area and would drop the parcel by shortly. A couple minutes later, James dropped a parcel on the step, rang the bell, then booked it for the back door. While Joseph was getting the door, he slipped back upstairs to his office.

Joseph happily trotted back inside with his parcel and opened it up.

The letter read something along the lines of, “We hope you will enjoy playing with your new Zurg action figure. Regards, the Evil Emperor Zurg Corporation.” Joseph was confused, but after a nano second or two of thought started to smell a rat. He ran upstairs and demanded to see James’ Evil Emperor Zurgs.

James showed Joseph his miniature straightaway, and blandly told Joseph that he’s only ever had the one. Joseph was fairly convinced that he’d been had but as James is such a good bullsh*tter, was not quite sure. Nyssa took the opportunity to steal James’ computer and laugh derisively.

Joseph did manage to get revenge. A few weeks later he found the most hideous Jar Jar Binks hand puppet at a charity sale. He bought it, boxed it up as though it were a work-related parcel and had it ‘sent’ to a horrified James. Hehe.

Well done Joseph. It’s good to know we’re teaching, uhh, valuable skills.

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