Lessons of the Holiday Season ’07

It’s sleeting down here, and freezing cold. The heating system is being beastly and only selectively heating rooms, and I’m getting a virus as well, so I’m feeling a bit hibernatory (excellent non-word) and reflective. Let us explore what I’ve learned this holiday…

1. I’m not bound to have energy, no matter where I spend Christmas.

2. No matter that I spend hours simmering down red cabbage, beets, and red onions with gorgeous balsamic vinegar–no one will touch the shit.

3. Regardless of the recipe, brussel sprouts defy me.

4. It is not the course of wisdom to use a new ‘magic fudge’ recipe, particularly when one is in the UK and marshmallow fluff is hard to come by.

5. There is an inverse relationship between the number of candles in the house and how likely adult males are to behave around them.

6. Grandmas are the best. Grandma M got me american christmas candies and a cozy scarf, Grandma Ml got me money to spend on Amazon, Grandma R got me Godiva and Sour Patch Kids, and Grandma A got me an excellent pile of books.

7. Buy surplus cat food to get you through that extra Scottish bank holiday. What is the purpose of Jan 2nd being a holiday anyway? Particularly since all it means is that the banks and Tesco are closed. Honestly.

8. The husband will not read your wishlist, no matter what form you submit it in. You will have to shove him out the door with the bank card on the last possible shopping day.

9. The most ingenious methods of secretly labelling Christmas presents will be foiled by small girls stealing the implements and the back-up code being forgotten. My efforts will yield me a Christmas Day of people opening the wrong presents and James’ derisive laughter.

10. DIY Christmas crackers continue to defeat me.

11. It is still *excellent* to be in the right country to watch the Christmas Day Doctor Who.

12. It is perhaps not so excellent to be in the right country for young men who adore old war movies.

13. Related to #12 I suspect, James’ use of an emphatic ‘brilliant!’ and drinking of old man drinks increase several-fold over the holidays.

14. The kids will have several meltdowns in proportion to the amount of new crap they have to find homes in their bedroom for.

15. Related to #14, Joseph is seriously deserving of his own room.

16. While the holidays extend only to the 2nd the mess, the pervasive headache, the bits of decorations, the surplus cheese, and the inability to get back on routine will endure until..well, it’s now the 6th and I really hope we don’t have any surprise visitors…unless they’d be willing to wear a blindfold and eat their weight in cheese toasties.

This post has taken about 4 days to finish. In the meantime, I had the virus and have mostly recovered. James is gone tonight, and the kids had the notion of eating nachos for dinner and watching Nacho Libre. I have to say…that’s a brilliant idea.

Hope you are all surviving the weather and the winter travel!


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