Sex ed gone askew

My children say lovely, horrifying things. We watched a fantastic documentary yesterday about the development of three different animals from conception to birth. The kids learned all sorts of gruesome and wondrous things. Excellent. Then Nyssa plaintively says to me, ‘Mom, I wish *I* had sperm inside me.’ I mentally smacked myself enough times to keep a straight face and to keep myself from saying, ‘Did you not see that bit about elephant copulation?!?’ I asked her if she felt quite prepared at this point to get pregnant. She admitted she wasn’t. I think she must have missed the bit about sperm having a short lifespan and saw it as good future planning to get the dna situation sorted and not have to worry about it later.

The kids also have strange conversations between themselves. I overheard Joseph saying that he wished he was emperor of the universe (this is a recurring theme with the boy) and then he would force that Taylor boy to marry Nyssa. Nyssa breathes emotionally, ‘but Joseph..I don’t want *false* love!’ Joseph doesn’t see her point at all. I don’t think he’s watched enough Barbie movies.

I guess I should be happy that they do things together, albeit in the slightly psychopathic manner with which anyone with my dna is bound to do things. They play Barbie, but it inevitably involves dismemberment and excessive nudity. I’m forever finding Ken heads and Barbie arms in the couch cushions. They play Sylvanian families, in which Nyssa enacts teacher/pupil abuse, Joseph’s favorite character to play has the charming moniker ‘Throw-up Lad,’ and it’s good fun to get the cats to stampede through the baby playpark. What makes it all a bit disturbing is that this was the sort of sadistic play I favored as a kid. Of course I ended up as a peaceable sort of grownup, so maybe it’s all going to be ok. If really, really odd. Hehe.

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One Response to “Sex ed gone askew”

  1. Anonymous Says:

    Too funny. I think it may be more than just your dna though. Seriously.
    M got a dollhouse for Xmas several years back. Total chaos. It’s too much nice wood and such for me to throw away, but waaay to trashed to sell anywhere. And, to be honest, he and G still play with it all the time. I’ve just never witnessed anything domestic take place in the house. Fortunately, since the people are wood with clothes glued on, there is only 1 naked doll and one headless doll. If I ever have a daughter, she’ll have to come along at such a time as to miss her brothers possibly getting into her dolls. I can only imagine. But since that would mean having kids into my 40’s… I better get good daughters in law!!

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